Yup. Looking back (don't you wish we could "look ahead a little more...") the signs were there but I am an eternal optimist. Kinda in a funky stage right now. I have so much to be thankful for, I have so much to not be thankful for. I'm seriously thinking about developing a split personality (already done?). Thankfully the plus stuff is way ahead of the minus stuff.
The best? My two children are very happy in their marriages and where they are right now, both financially okay. My daughter finally moved within driving distance with 3 of my grandchildren and I have taken major advantage of that! My son is far away in PA but married to a wonderful woman and expecting their first this July (the bonus is they both want to move back to Idaho sometime!). And I get to spend time with my mother, a most wonderful person. And even though my marriage has ended I still am a grampa to all her grandkids, although I do wonder how that will play out.
I am living in a mountain area I've always wanted to live in but never really thought it would happen. I have a wonderful job with awesome people in a 4 season resort that is now on the upswing.
But I do find myself alone. When you grow up figuring on a 50+ marriage to one person, to have a special one to share all the times both good and bad together, to have someone right next to you, traveling life with you; to have someone who thinks more about your welfare than their own. That last never did happen, probably never will. Well I won't give up but for the first time I'm not keen on looking. Maybe that will work better, we will see.